MICHIGAN at OREGON

You know, watching Jason “Deputy” Fife and Kellen “I’m Jellin’” Clemens share the Eugenic QB duties seems very similar to a situation at WSU a few years back when Steve Birnbaum and Paul Mencke rotated. Well, in principle anyway. PICK: Wolverines

BOISE STATE at OREGON STATE

Will the Corvallis Big Teeth become the first Pac-10 team EVER to lose to the blue-turf-playing, ladies-lingerie-wearing, jake-breaking undergrads of Boise State? Let’s just say Mike Riley will be two-fisting the Rogaine come Saturday night. PICK: Broncos

IDAHO at WASHINGTON

This one has the markings of an epic battle. Think Ali v Frazier. Think Kirk v Kahn. No, not the game itself, I’m talking about the 1^st (and last?) Annual Battle of the Belts: Keith Gibletson v Tom Cable. A buffet cage match, last bib standing, all you can eat, stretch pants extravaganza!  Early line shows Cable as a one slice o’ pie underdog. PICK: HUSKIES

NEW MEXICO at WASHINGTON STATE          

Besides the obvious gender-thing, there are some notable differences between WSU kicker Drewlander Dunning and Lobos kicker Katie “Ireland” Hnida. For one, Drew spends more time primping in front of the mirror before field goals (network games only). PICK: COUGARS

ARIZONA at PURDUE

Hard to believe Arizero has the 108^th ranked offense in the nation. Even harder to believe there are nine crappier offenses out there. PICK: BOILERMAKERS

ARIZONA STATE at IOWA 

I’m getting a strong vision of a post game speech by ASsU coach Dick Koetter to fallen Stunned Devils following big loss to Iowa. It goes like this:  “Well, boys, years from now when you’re stocking shelves at a Costco somewhere, the night manager (who never played a down of football in his life!) will be riding your ass. When that happens I want you to stop and remember those 3 glorious weeks during the 2003 season when you played for a ranked team. They can’t ever take that away from you, boys.” PICK: HAWKEYES

CALIFORNIA at ILLINOIS

I woke up on Sunday morning and found the newspaper right where it should be on my front porch; my slippers were exactly where they always are; the coffee maker began brewing at it’s usual 8:00 AM time; and the Golden Bears were 1-3 and falling. Yes, all is as it should be in The Seer’s world. PICK: FIGHTIN’ ILLINI

STANFORD at BYU

What’s this?? Cardinal QB—and senior superstar in the making—Chris “Cool Hand” Lewis officially benched?! And replaced by wet-behind-the-center Trent “Avenue” Edwards?! Buddy Teevens may stand 5-foot-4, but he’s no Napoleon! PICK: Kougars

UCLA at OKLAHOMA  

Advice to my new friend, Karl “The Truth” Dorrell: When preparing to play Oklahoma, announcing you will soon be quitting to coach at Alabama has proven to be an ineffectual—some might even say adverse—game plan.  PICK: SOONERS

LAST WEEK: 6-1

YEAR TO DATE: 20-5