CALIFORNIA at UTAH (Thursday)

How much integrity do I have? Don’t answer until you read this: It’s late Thursday night, I’ve just double-checked the final score on this one (Utah 31 Cal 24) and I refuse—REFUSE—to alter my original pick despite intense pressure from both my agent and Executive Editor! If I’d been on Nixon’s staff the Watergate would be just another hotel.

PICK: GOLDEN BEARS

OREGON at ARIZONA

Sure, each locker in the new Nike U “changing room” cost $26,000 per. That sounds a lot worse than it really is. You’ve got to remember that the cost of booze and hookers was factored into that total.

Fearing his days are numbered at Faber, I went searching for something positive to say about Pile Cat coach John Mackovic. I came up with this: While yelling at his “players” during the 59-13 loss to LSU last weekend, less spittle than normal flew from his mouth.

PICK: DUCKS

NEW MEXICO STATE at OREGON STATE

Let’s put a positive spin on the Bulldogged Beavos: Sure, they had 128 yards in penalties against Fresno State, but Steven “Steve” Jackson made that a wash with 128 yards rushing. And yes, DerPick Anderson threw for a woeful 34%, but the glass is half full Corvalians, only 11% of this attempts ended in interceptions!

PICK: BEAVERS

UTAH STATE at ARIZONA STATE

Ok. I’ve been quiet about this for long enough! Utah State is the second Pac-10 opponent (New Mexico State being the other) this week with the inappropriate nickname “Aggies.” As a person of ag-heritage, an Agrican-American, if you will, I find this term offensive and a sad indication of the bias and discrimination still felt to this day by the American farmer.

PICK: SUN DEVILS

ILLINOIS at UCLA

Let’s see, Boozin cornerback Marcus Cassel arrested last summer on a DUI…QB legacy John Sciarra booked for public intoxication…casually observing UCLA football is a lot like watching Groundhog’s Day.

PICK: BRUINS

HAWAII at USC

Remember on The Love Boat how Captain Stubing would take credit for each successful voyage when we all knew it was yeoman-purser Gopher who was making things sail smoothly? That’s all you need to understand USC football. “Gopher Chow.” I like that.

PICK: TROJANS

WASHINGTON STATE at COLORADO

The fact that the Buffs hired former Cougar head basket case coach Paul “Air Ball” Graham as an assistant proves one thing: Colorado is a football school.

PICK: COUGARS

LAST WEEK: 7-3

YEAR TO DATE: 14-4