Adonis The Greek's Pac-10 picks

IMPORTANT TOPICS SURROUNDING this week's college football games -- Louisiana's liquor laws, robot love dance moves that are illegal in some parts of the nation, accessories for Harbaugh's gold plated toilet, dirt worshiping protesters up at the crack of dawn. And say, why is Oprah wearing a headset on the Husky sidelines?

Louisiana-Monroe @ Arizona State
Louisiana has some of the laxest liquor laws in the nation. How lax? Denny tried to negotiate a home and home with L-M.
Pick - ASU

No. 16 Utah @ Oregon
Who cares about the game, I just want to see if Jeremiah Masoli will do his robot love-dance thing again. Good thing the game is in Hippyville, you could get arrested trying to pull that kind of move in Orem. And in Salt Lake City. And, well, just about anywhere in Utah.
Pick - Utah

San Jose State @ Stanford
After a rough road game, Jim Harbaugh has been reunited with both his $80,000 toilet and his custom ordered urinal pucks shaped in the likeness of Pete Carroll, so all is once again right in this cruel Wake Forest officiated world gone mad.
Pick - Stanford

No. 8 California @ Minnesota
Those rascally varmints scheduled this game for early in the morning, when Cal players are more accustomed to climbing their first tree of the day in protest of something. Plus, Cal hasn't been a great road team, and Minnesota is at home in their new football stadium/ice fishing complex. It won't matter.
Pick - Cal

No. 3 USC @ Washington
Husky fans are so thrilled with winning a game last week -- their first win in nearly two years after making Pac-10 history for futility -- they're convinced UW is a virtual lock to pull off the upset against USC. Why, yes. I'm sure they're quite right. I'm sure that is going to happen. And a unicorn will sing the national anthem and Oprah will be wearing a headset, chartin' plays and kick the game winning field goal, too. God Bless us everyone.
Pick - USC

No. 17 Cincinnati @ No. 24 Oregon State
Sheep-stealers were forlorn to learn yesterday they aren't actually playing the Cincinnati Bengals. Quizz Rodgers is great, but unfortunately for OSU he doesn't play defense.
Pick -- Cincinnati

Arizona @ Iowa
Rob Gronkowski, the best tight end in the Pac-10, is out with a back problem after carrying Mike Stoops the last couple years to the dizzying heights of .500 ball. Iowa was overrated but a heart stopping 17-16 season opening win over Northern Iowa corrected that oversight. If it was Northern Arizona coming to town this week, Iowa might have a problem. As it is, Stoops will find a way to lose.
Pick -- Iowa

Kansas State@ UCLA
It's Bill Snyder vs. Rick Neuheisel in the first annual Rebuilders vs. Rulebreakers Bowl! And just to make things interesting, UCLA suspended four players (one starter) for Saturday. Bruins will still cruise, Rick will be strumming his guitar on the sidelines by the third quarter.
Pick - UCLA

SMU @ Washington State
Before the season, the Cougs would be the easy pick to win this one -- SMU is about a half step up from North Dakota State. But we've all since gotten a chance to see the Cougars play. It will be much closer than it should, but Wazzu wins when Nico Grasu subs in at wide receiver to snare the game winning catch.
Pick - Cougars