Bolton’s not present for the Mailbag this week. Officially, Bolton is on vacation. Unofficially, Bolton was over in
Montlake pointing & laughing.
The objects of his derision, the usual assortment of sweater-vested
denizens, were suddenly quarantined on suspicion of Monkeypox. Sadly, Bolton was swept up in the
confusion. He’ll get out of
isolation in the next day or two.
While Bolton is making time with the nurses, he
asked Jimmy, his most trusted imaginary friend, to just scrap the column for
this week. Jimmy declines. Because through rain, snow, sleet and
Monkeypox - Jimmy delivers the mail.
The Jimmy Mail
From:
Anonymous
If Barbara Hedges were a
color, what color would she be?
A: Blonde No.
5
From: Keith S.
I saw Trandon Harvey suffered that injury du
jour, the “high ankle sprain”, Can you explain exactly what a high ankle sprain
is, and the difference between it and just an “ankle sprain”?
A: First of
all, Jimmy is not a doctor. But
Jimmy saw an episode of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman once, so hell, Jimmy’s
certainly qualified to answer. A
high ankle sprain is so named because the injury occurs above the joint.
The vast majority of
ankle sprains are lateral sprains, where the foot and ankle are
twisted inward or, put another way, when the
ankle is ‘rolled over’. This injury
affects the ligaments supporting the subtalar joint; its not nearly as
problematic as a high ankle sprain.
The
high ankle sprain injures the syndesmotic ligaments connecting the
tibia and fibula.
It’s caused by
an outward twisting of the foot and ankle.
‘Severe’
high ankle sprains may require surgery if the displacement of the bones is
significant enough. Regardless of
severity, the high ankle sprain takes longer to heal; the damage is simply
greater.
Its
not uncommon for a player to be sidelined 4, 6, even 10 weeks with a high ankle
sprain. What Jason Gesser
did against UCLA two weeks after suffering his high ankle sprain remains
one of Jimmy’s all-time favorite displays of sheer will.
From: Anonymous
This isn’t football related. Madonna and Britney’s kiss at the MTV
Music Awards, was that some sweet action or what?
A: Jimmy
doesn’t know what all the fuss is about - When Reggie planted one on Cody at the
NW Championship Trophy presentation, it wasn’t such a big deal. (Bolton just emailed Jimmy and said that
never actually happened. Sure it
didn’t. Next Bolton will be telling
Jimmy the NWC is a myth.
Bolton. He’s so naïve. What a sweet
kid.)
From: Anonymous
Who did we beat out for Sammy Moore. A little help, please?
A: The
competition for The Hammer was pretty fierce - both times. And it depends on who you ask; what
coach wants to admit they didn’t win a recruiting battle? Jimmy believes you may be thinking of
Kansas State; the Wildcats went after Moore hard out of Bakersfield CC.
Also very highly
recruited out of high school, Moore stayed home and signed with ASU over the UW
and Nebraska, among many others, before going the JUCO route. Jimmy thinks WSU is fortunate to have
him - and Jimmy also thinks Moore is fortunate to have
WSU.
Jimmy notes both times
Moore signed, the recruiting coordinator at Washington State and ASU was the
same man - Robin Pflugrad.
From:
Anonymous
What do you think the key is to beating New Mexico?
A: Jimmy
could say shutting down the Lobos’ vaunted running attack is a good place to
start. Jimmy could stress that
despite being down 21 points and eventually losing 42-28 to Texas Tech, the
Lobos still ran the ball 51 times.
Jimmy could pull stats from the BYU game; 48 carries, and again NM won
the TOP battle.
But
this week, Jimmy wants to put it in these terms: Take their heart. And then.. Finish.
From:
Jack L.
What was
Martin Stadium called originally, wasn’t it Rogers Field?
A: Built in 1892, the stadium was
originally called Soldier Field. It
was renamed Rogers Field in 1902.
The stadium was completely rebuilt in 1936 but retained the same name,
(even though The Jimmy Field would have been a fine choice.) After a fire destroyed the south stands
in 1970, it was rebuilt and christened Martin Stadium.
From:
Robert
Seeing
Ralphie made me wonder, when was the last time WSU had an actual live Cougar as
their mascot?
A: First off, let Jimmy state that Ralphie
is the best mascot in all of college football. Still, if Butch VII currently roamed the
sidelines at Martin Stadium, Jimmy would have to reconsider. The last live mascot on campus was Butch
VI, who passed away in the summer of 1978.
WSU’s
opponent this Saturday, the Lobos, also had a live Lobo as their mascot - albeit
briefly. The wolf bit someone in
the late 20s after being teased; a live mascot hasn’t really been part of the
athletics scene at New Mexico since.
For
those interested in such things and on a related note, the nurses told Bolton
that Affleck never really broke up with J-Lobo. Evidently, the very same people
reporting the couple had split were also the ones reporting WSU was the
7th best team in the Pac-10.
So pay that hearsay no mind.
We’ll
answer as many letters as possible each week.
Send your
inquiries and comments to CF.CMAILBAG@comcast.net
Limited
Time Offer
Husky
Stadium crowd noise sold separately
© Jimmy
Inc. All imaginary rights
reserved