WASHINGTON at OHIO
STATE
Good
news/bad news for Buck$eyes student-athlete Maurice Clarett. The good: He
didn’t really have $10,000 worth of items stolen from his “borrowed” Monte Carlo
(Side note: How come no Pullman dealerships offered me loaners when I was an
undergrad?) Now the bad: Zima Zach Tuiasosopo was his
valet. Ba-da-dum.
PICK:
BUCKEYES
IDAHO at WASHINGTON
STATE
Those of
you who insist on berating Vanilla coach Tom “Basic” Cable for starting
The Other Harrington over proven QB Brian Lindgren, I say
this to you: Have you so quickly forgotten the magic that was Broadway Joey
Harrrington?!? Hello?! Same gene pool, people!
PICK:
COUGARS
SACRAMENTO STATE at
OREGON STATE
I miss
the good ol’ days of Beavo ball, when the outcome of a match-up like this
would’ve been anyone’s guess…When the words “Oregon State” and “doormat”
reunited in a loving embrace each Corvallis autumn. Where have you gone,
Jerry Pettibone, the Pac-10 nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you (Ooo,
ooo, ooo).
PICK:
BEAVERS
SOUTHERN MISS at
CALIFORNIA
Some
suggestions to help sell tickets to this Golden Eagle v Golden
Bear straight-to-video clunker: 1.Dub it the Moonshine v Mary Jane Bowl; 2.Offer
door prize to any Southern Miss married couple that can prove they’re not also
cousins; 3.Sell Berkeley Brownies at concession stands (they may already do
this).
PICK: GOLDEN
BEARS
OREGON at MISSISSIPPI
STATE
Can
anyone quickly tell me if The Mike Bellotti is with or without his
Selleckian mustache this season? I need to know if I’m going to accurately
forecast the fate of Nike U! And speaking of missing: Reports indicate tourism
in the Big Apple is down this summer due to no Oregon billboard hanging in Times
Square. Don’t be telling me my man Samie Parker isn’t ready for
prime-time!
PICK:
DUCKS
USC at
AUBURN
Now that
Golden (there’s that word again!) Boy Carson Palmer is gone, we’ll find
out if Smog Central QB guru Norman “Norm” Chow is really Harry Potter or
not.
PICK:
TIGERS
UTEP at
ARIZONA
I’m sure
this game is important to someone somewhere. Well, relatively sure, anyhow. Good
news for Wild Macs: Some ever-elusive Common Ground has been found between
feuding coach Gone Mackovic and former star back Clarence “Fannie”
Farmer. They’ve both changed each other’s name to
“Dick.”
PICK:
WILDCATS
LAST WEEK: 1-0 (What? You don't think I would've picked KSU over Cal?!)