For those who don’t recall, Jimmy is my imaginary
friend. Takes after the
Seinfeld character of the same name. Speaks of himself in the 3rd
person.
And to clarify: The straightforward analysis piece I
was working on? It was the launch
of my own ‘03 season goal: To be named CF.C Seattle Bureau Chief. After careful planning, figured I'd earn
the title by the time the ‘03 campaign came to a close.
Well, that maiden article might as well be a 2 year
old NCAA bracket for all the good it does me now.
And up top, I’m going to slip in Seattle Bureau
Chief under my name anyway.
Doubt Witter will even notice.
And if he does, so he changes it back to Columnist. Big deal.
Oh.
‘Classifieds Intern’.
Well played, Witter. Well
played. Enough preamble. Jimmy, its all you.
(Dispatch) May 31
Pullman - - Sorry Jimmy hasn’t been
able to contact you until now.
Things are really coming together here, Bolton. Jimmy is more than pleased. Will Derting is a phenom. Jermaine Green is scary
good. And Jimmy is in awe of the
Defense as a whole.
Jimmy’s also had his ear to the ground -- will be in
Seattle soon. Bravo, Tango,
Foxtrot, Sashay. Crimson Soldier
Jimmy out.
June 3, Seattle - - Jimmy has to get back to Pullman. But not just yet. Jimmy’s been looking into a development
here in the Emerald City. Jimmy’s
been to Montlake. Jimmy is already
under cover, Bolton. Jimmy will
contact you soon.
June 4, Seattle - - A close one today, Bolton. Jimmy crashed the meeting. THE meeting with the NCAA investigators
and Rick Neuheisel. Oh what
drives Jimmy to take chances like this?! Jimmy’s disguise: Slot machine in the
corner of the conference room.
Jimmy looked like R2D2. But
in a high roller kind of way.
Jimmy didn’t hear everything. Bunch of people kept pulling Jimmy’s
left arm, (disguised as the slot handle) and this distracted Jimmy. Still, Jimmy remained undetected. Not too hard to pull one over on those
people sometimes. Double entendre
intended, Bolton.
June 5, Pullman - - Bill Doba was made for this, Bolton. Jimmy is so pleased Doba finally got the
chance. Jimmy thinks in the long
run, it will prove one of the best decisions Washington State has ever
made.
Further, all signs point to a 3rd straight
successful campaign under Doba’s watch in ’03. Short term, Long term -- Jimmy is as
enthusiastic as he’s ever been about the state of Cougar
Football.
June 6, Seattle - - Oh, Bolton. It’s just wild here. Neuheisel is desperately wielding his
Jedi mind-tricks, seems shocked they’re not working this time. Some quotes:
Neuheisel: “I never in my wildest
dreams imagined I was doing anything to jeopardize my
employment.”
(Jimmy never in
his wildest dreams imagined you joining Toledo & Price in the bait
shop in ‘03. Figured maybe a season
or two down the road. They need
Part-time Counter help from what Jimmy understands. Jimmy could put in a good word for you
if you’d like.)
A.D. Barbara
Hedges: “Rick was forthcoming. That is to his
credit."
(Jimmy actually has some
respect for Hedges. But Jimmy
feared for his imaginary life when he heard this. This is what its come to. Neuheisel applauded for being
forthcoming, for {supposedly}, telling the truth.)
Jimmy doesn’t find it
especially noteworthy when someone simply tells the truth and does so
expeditiously. Jimmy’s not even
sure Neuheisel was forthcoming.
But that’s another dispatch for another day.
June 6,
Pullman
- - Bolton, have you seen what’s going on with Washington State recruiting
lately? Sure, Jimmy knew the
coaches were great recruiters. And
that they’ve been all over it so far this offseason -- but this is beyond… wait
for it now… Jimmy’s wildest dreams!
Early verbals (already!)
from Omowale Dada, Alex Hamill and Gary Rogers. Jimmy says ‘Go get ‘em Doba and
Crew! Go get
‘em!’
And speaking of Rogers,
go back & re-read his quotes - especially on his level of commitment to
Washington State. Oh yes Bolton,
Jimmy likes the type of football player we recruit: talented athletes of strong
character. No wonder he drew
interest from Notre Dame and Nebraska, among several others.
Say, Rogers also drew
interest from the coach in Montlake as well. Imagine that.
June 6,
leaving NY airspace - - Unplanned quick trip
to the Big Apple, Bolton. Seattle’s
own ‘Punchy the radio shock-jock’ (or whatever his name is) broadcast an
unscheduled show on RN – in New York of all places. But it was carried by Seattle’s
Al-Jazeera Sports Radio 950.
Outside Punchy’s hotel
room door, Jimmy left another Cinnabon picture & mock ransom note, politely
reminding him to provide an actual news item on the Cougs.
Jimmy also included a
flow chart: Detailed his prior Apologist statements vs. the polar opposite
quotes Punchy reeled off today.
Jimmy does like to have his fun, Bolton. A five hour nap and then Jimmy will be
in Montlake.
June 7,
Seattle - -
Oh, Bolton. There’s more. But then, Jimmy expected nothing
less.
Neuheisel: “It was a setup.”
(Jimmy duly notes your
attempts to deflect blame. But
where’s the outrageous inference that Fisher DeBerry had something to do
with it? Don’t bow down now,
RN! Fight
on!)
Neuheisel: “I never in my wildest imagination
thought I was breaking any NCAA rules.”
(Oddly, Jimmy notes NCAA
President Myles Brand said RN’s actions were “simply unacceptable and
deserves a severe punishment if true.”
Brand even took an extraordinary step - saying if he were a school president, he would "take
personnel action." Case closed,
baby.)
From Neuheisel:
“I believe I am completely innocent.”
(And Jimmy believes you can completely top
even this quote in the coming days.
Jimmy has faith.
Don’t
let Jimmy down.)
June 9, Seattle - - Neuheisel has released The Memo. And reiterated his claim: “My first, second and third goals are to
remain the coach at the UW. I
desperately want to remain..”
(So when the first three crumble, what’s the business
end of the 4th goal?
Hold on to some compensation?
And putting the UW at risk is what, a benefits package?)
Jimmy could go on for a while here. But Jimmy will try to be brief: Jimmy wonders if RN desperately
doesn’t want to repay the loan.
Jimmy also wonders: If fired for reasons other than ‘for cause’, does the
buyout clause kick in? In any
event, Jimmy appreciates the attempt to deflect. Good one.
Jimmy doesn’t know if RN will necessarily shackle the
UW with new sanctions from this latest transgression. But Jimmy does think the UW is in for a
rough ride -- no matter what. Jimmy
also finds irony in RN stating he didn’t like the methods used that originally
brought this to the fore.
And Jimmy does know this: the UW will be the better
for severing ties with Neuheisel.
And Jimmy is going to miss you, RN.
That also, is not in dispute.
Jimmy is pulling for a miracle.
Jimmy wants you to stay.
But Jimmy’s pretty sure RN is out of football for a
very, very long time. “Paging
Doctor Baitshop! Doctor Sumner
Baitshop!”
June 9, Seattle - - Remember John Levesque, Bolton? Barely recognize his new picture in the
PI. Before you ask ‘How can
he blend in & listen in on other people now?’ Jimmy’s guess is this: Not enough of a
challenge for a writer of his talent to get the earlier scoop on the RN / San
Fran interview.
Apparently
dumped the old Levesque espionage kit in a dumpster behind Sea-Tac -- because
that’s where Jimmy found it. Had a
1960s Spy Beard and Mustache Look, some fluffy sweater vests &
several other items.
To A.D. Hedges and New UW Coach: Oh you may think
you’ll see Jimmy coming in the future. But you’d be wrong. With the Levesque kit in
Jimmy’s possession, no chance. Black Ops, baby. Hold on, Bolton - Jimmy’s cell phone is
ringing.
June 10,
Pullman
Jimmy has a neighborhood social gathering of his own
to attend later tonight, Bolton. A
Barbecue with some fellow Cougs. RN
asked Jimmy if he could “come with” as Jimmy was departing Seattle. Jimmy had to smile.
No, you can’t come along. And no, won’t take your bracket with me
-- Not that kind of get together.
No, Jimmy really doubts any Pit Bosses will be there, but fine: If Jimmy sees any, he’ll pass along your
‘Vegas, baby” greeting.
June 10, Pullman
By the way, Bolton. Did Jimmy mention Matt Kegel
appears to have a noticeably different attitude than, (at certain times), last
year? Not cocky so much as
confident & capable. Not
boastful but instead really focused on team-oriented goals.
Jimmy sees a difference here, Bolton. And Jimmy can’t wait to see Kegel ‘get
after it’ this season.
And did Jimmy also mention he believes Washington
State Football is in great shape, possibly the best its ever
been?
From the Coaches, to the Players, to the
Administration -- oh Jimmy could go on and on. But that’s probably a whole ‘nother set
of dispatches.
Hold on a second Bolton -- Jimmy’s cell phone,
again. Looks like the area code for
Montlake. Jimmy should probably
take this call. Jimmy’s under
cover. Jimmy’s on the case.
And Jimmy says this: Go Cougs. Always, Go Cougs.